Separated parents in England and Wales can agree where their children live and how they spend time with each parent without going to court. GOV.UK’s guidance on child arrangements, which says the position differs in Scotland and Northern Ireland, sets out a ladder of options, from a written plan through mediation to a court order.
Starting with a child arrangements plan
GOV.UK says you do not need any official paperwork if you agree, but you can record what you have agreed in a “child arrangements plan”, using a government online service or a template. The plan covers matters such as when and where children spend time with each parent and other contact such as phone calls. Crucially, a plan is not legally binding: the other parent does not have to follow it and either parent can suggest changes.
Mediation and the MIAM
A mediator is a neutral professional who helps you reach decisions based on the child’s best interests. GOV.UK says the mediator must be accredited, and sessions can be in person or remote, so you do not have to be in the same room as your ex-partner. Before starting you may attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), usually costing around £120 per person, with a form signed by an accredited mediator if you attend.
Where it is suitable, GOV.UK says you can usually get a voucher worth up to £500 towards mediation, regardless of income; it cannot be used towards the cost of the MIAM itself. Legal aid may cover mediation for people on a low income.
GOV.UK also lists other “non-court dispute resolution” options, which it says are usually quicker than court: solicitor negotiation (useful if you cannot contact your ex-partner), collaborative law, arbitration and neutral evaluation, in which a family lawyer or judge gives an unbiased view of what a court might decide. Neutral evaluation differs from mediation because a mediator cannot tell you likely court outcomes.
When you need to show a MIAM before going to court
If you decide to apply to court, GOV.UK says you will usually need to show you have attended a MIAM, though if you attend and your ex-partner does not, you can still apply. Exceptions include evidence of domestic abuse, applying for a consent order, children at risk of harm, urgent applications, and having attended a MIAM or tried other ways to agree in the last four months.
Making an agreement legally binding, or applying for an order
If you agree and want the arrangement to be enforceable, a solicitor can draft a consent order which a judge or magistrate reviews; there is usually no hearing. If you cannot agree, you can apply for an order. GOV.UK lists a child arrangements order (where the child lives and who they spend time with), a specific issue order (for example which school), and a prohibited steps order (for example to stop a child being taken abroad). The application fee is £270 and GOV.UK says it usually takes around 10 months to get a court order, depending on the area and circumstances.
What the court looks at
After an application the court may hold a directions hearing, usually with a Cafcass family court adviser (Cafcass Cymru in Wales). The court can ask Cafcass for a report and may require a separated parents information programme. GOV.UK says a judge or magistrate always puts the welfare of the child first, considering matters such as the child’s wishes and feelings, needs, the effect of any change, and any risk of harm, and will only make an order if it is in the child’s best interests. Orders can later be changed or, where a parent is not following them, enforced.
Changing or enforcing an order
GOV.UK says you can do something different from an order if you both agree, but you will not be able to enforce the new arrangement later unless it is made legally binding through a consent order. If you cannot agree, you can ask the court to vary the order. Where a parent is not following an order, the guidance describes applying on form C79 (the fee is £270). If the court enforces the order, it can make an enforcement order requiring between 40 and 200 hours of unpaid work, or an order for compensation for financial loss, such as a missed holiday. The court may decline to enforce if the parent has a good reason or if doing something different is better for the children. To end an order that is no longer working, GOV.UK points to form C100.
FAQs
Is a MIAM always compulsory?
No. GOV.UK lists exceptions, including evidence of domestic abuse, children at risk of harm and urgent cases. An accredited mediator can also confirm whether an exemption applies.
Can grandparents or other relatives apply?
GOV.UK says people with parental responsibility can apply, and other relatives such as a grandparent, aunt or uncle can apply too.
Do I need a solicitor?
No. GOV.UK says you can represent yourself, and lists sources of guidance and support, though a legal adviser can help with applications and consent orders.
Bottom line
Most families in England and Wales can start with a written plan or mediation, and the court process exists for when those routes fail or are unsuitable. Show you have considered a MIAM before applying, keep the child’s welfare at the centre, and note that a plan is not binding while a court order or approved consent order is. This is general information, not legal advice; where there is any risk of harm, contact the police or a specialist service.
Sources
- GOV.UK, “Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate: Make a child arrangements plan”
- GOV.UK, “Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate: Make an agreement through mediation”
- GOV.UK, “Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate: Apply for a court order”
- GOV.UK, “Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate: After you apply for a court order”
- GOV.UK, “Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate: Change or enforce an order”
- GOV.UK, “Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate: Other ways to agree without going to court”